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Marriage equality is about a freer society for the next generation

June 29, 2015 The Wine Time Dad 0 Comments Category : , , , , ,

Disclaimer: There may be some sentences contained herein that seem like run-ons. I sincerely hope they're not. 

DC Daddy is not a nationalist or even a patriot (in the sense that he thinks America and by extension Americans, are somehow special and above other Earth denizens), but he does hold a special place in his heart for the country of his birth. 

In this special place, he eternally hopes that the society at large will reflect our best as a diverse community, regardless of what we as individuals may believe or feel. He also hopes that the law-generating class of elites won't fuck simple things up, like basic human right and equality. They certainly don't always get this right, but happily, today, the highest court in the land came down on the side of equality.  

Putting aside all the clever progressive soundbites and over generalized catch phrases, like #lovewins or #lovetriumphs,  more human beings (in America) have gained a necessary foothold in the basic human rights we're all supposed to have. 

SCOTUS has (rightfully) decided that gay men and women should be able to openly and legally encapsulate their bonds of love in the same manner that heterosexuals have been doing (and abusing) for centuries. At the very least, the federal government can no longer exclude people from the institution of marriage based on their sexual orientation.

Is this a sign of things to come? Most certainly it is. Is it, perhaps, a sign that some cosmic end has been hastened? No. Whatever end comes will either be by the stupidity and greed of humanity or a vastly indifferent force: nature.

Yet, this is a sign that we've stepped away from our biased and often times ignorant belief systems. In many ways, we're moving on from an old (and obsolete) hegemonic force that has pretty much directed the course of western history/ morality for nearly two millennia. We have broken from indoctrinated beliefs that taught us to fear the unknown, shun the outsider, penalize those who did not follow "the accepted" view of reality. It's not that this ruling has effectively wiped away the "otherness" of an entire group of people, not even the Civil Rights movement could do that for African Americans, but it is a step towards normalization.

Furthermore, in this breaking away from conventions, our increasingly secular society has decoupled marriage from the vice grip of religious control. "What?" you exclaim. The biblically shunned gay community can legally get married in our… Ahem, "Christian" nation.

Yes, they can

Bravo Americans!

I derive a great deal of satisfaction at seeing American culture change with this inexorable positive tide. A tide that is normalizing the innate biological/ psychological identity of all human beings (in this country). And, if it ultimately turns out not to be an innate psychological/ biological identity, I still don't care because it's none of my goddamn business.

Maybe at this point you may be wondering, why bring up social issues on an unknown blog that's mostly dedicated to half-assed parenting? Well first, no one reads or sponsors this blog, so I can say what I like. And second, like all the poor, ostensibly persecuted, conservative Christian parents out there, who’ve been bemoaning the gradual corruption of our "core" values (whatever that shit means), especially in the age-old institution of marriage, I, too, am a parent affected by the social changes. This changing landscape affects us all, no doubt, yet it hasn't changed for the worst. It has, in fact, made society more inclusive, more tolerant and more equitable. 

The melting pot is that much bigger, that much meltier. Maybe tastier (hmm… this metaphor has jumped the precipice)?

However, my real stake in the game is that my child won’t be raised in as much of an intolerant social environment as I was (I stress social environment, here, because any kind of racism or bigotry, casual or blatant, was not tolerated in my parent's house). Politically, it may be more polarized but socially we're more accepting. Even finding a community of people where prejudice isn’t ingrained from the church pew to the classroom is much easier these days. School children, from nearly one coast to not quite the next, aren't blatantly acting out ancestral prejudices against more effeminate boys or masculine girls, labeling them a ‘fag’ or a ‘dyke’. Everywhere isn't the place where most in your social group, your teachers, friend’s parents and even the pastor reinforce intolerant and divisive social views. It's only in some places this happens, and even in these bastions of so called traditional values, bigots are being ironed out.

We simply don't suffer this kind of discrimination anymore. Probably because we're are more knowledgeable about the development of gender and sexuality. More importantly, we're more aware of our own inherent biases. We are a more aware society.

Of course, with all the new shiny bells and whistles society has to offer, there are cultural and technological avenues both novel and unknown. Many of which we simply don't have enough facts to properly assess. Some of which we know to be bad but lack the will to change. The short and skinny of it is this, our kids will inherit:
  • a world where anything posted online can and will be used against them. People in Japan will be able to watch that stupid Youtube video you made the second it's uploaded.
  • an environment that's going to shit because it’s not always economically feasible to fix it.
  • a more racially diverse classroom than I did.
  • the current trends in drug policy that have led to more knowledge and less paranoia- it's a society that's pushing for treatment, not incarceration. 
  • And, there's marijuana.
  • Hopefully, they’ll learn that substances aren't always inherently bad but the abuse of them can be destructive.
  • a society where issues of gender and sexual orientation are no longer believed to be simply choices brought on by Satanic influence, child abuse or selfishness. Hey, some people swing this way, and others that way. It’s as normal as breathing.
  • Finally, they’ll be free to love whomever and marry them if that is their wish, and the society at large won’t attempt to destroy them for it. It’ll support them.
Yes, they're cultural (and in many respects her physical) environment will be as different from mine as mine was from my parents.

At least for my daughter, she won't start from an accepted worldview that certain "types" of people are wrong and despicable by virtue of something they can't control. Different gendered minds won't be considered a weird phase or fringe. She won't have to unlearn subtle and overt bigotries she picked up from social groups, TV, community, teachers, and/ or religious leaders. And, if I can help it, she won't be indoctrinated into corrosive faiths that only preach tolerance and acceptance as a superficial coating to a narrow-minded and arrogant worldview. In this sense, my hope is that she won't have to unlearn a lot of deep-rooted and divisive prejudices. 


Granted, the rosy picture I'm painting has its many obvious flaws. Just because the general population is more tolerant and accepting, it doesn't mean our deeply ingrained prejudices and bigotries have finally been washed away. They haven't. Even now, the better aspects of the progressive movement that have pushed to make our society more secular and tolerant, are facing renewed fervor amongst those who cling to the old hegemony.

Oh well, in the greater game of life, there are no shutouts...

Still, for better or worse, her starting point is a generally further along the spectrum of tolerance. We'll take what we can get.

Fucking A.